Managing Teen-anger

Teen-anger  Management

  
  When a teen suffers from a mental pressure and behaves going out of his/ her normal patience level, is considered as teen’s anger. It is nothing but a status of stressful mind of a teen. When a teen is angry, he/ she behaves going out of discipline and good manners. They may be totally a silent or a shouting or crying one and full of much aggression, depression or negative feelings.

Major reasons of a teen’s anger:

a) When both the parents and children disagree from each other.

b) When they are having a lot of negative emotions and thoughts.

c) When they are continuously misunderstood or miss-communicated.

d) When they think that they have been punished without reasons or in place of others.

e) When they are ashamed before others.

f) When the parents become demanding.

g) When the parents are unable to understand their hearty emotions, feelings or thoughts.

h) When the teens have not been taught or guided how to follow the discipline rules, good manners and etiquette measures.

i) When the parents are unable to handle their day-to-day problems due to lack of time or active efforts.

Handling pre-circumstances of teen- anger

It’s a most important task of a parent to analyse the pre-circumstances of teens’ to normalize them when they are about to be anger. Leading some valuable steps, a parent can stay their teens cool and even out of anger for all time.

            As a parent, when you feel that your teen is totally silent or shouting more, going out of their normal patience level or presenting more tantrums, it’s a time for you to talk to him/ her just now.

What to do?

• If you don’t know the problem or you are fully unaware from the problem, try to recognize the problem first (with reasons), calmly and tactfully. Make necessary questions only enquiring the situation.
• Listen to your teen, carefully and without interference.
• Follow one-to-one and one-by-one communication system.
• Be calm and cool in all conditions, at least till the teens are out of aggression.
• Talk to them in accurate words paying them full regards.
• Accept your mistake (if any) without hesitation and count their mistakes without extensions. If the fault or faultier is in front of you, don’t try to solve the problem, just then.
• Relax them, no matter how you do this without anger.
• Close the discussion fixing a point of time for the next discussion to analyse the reasons.
• Make a commitment to solve the problem fairly and soon.
• Thinking over the solutions, try to fulfil your commitment as soon as possible. You must consider the consequences of your each solution.
• If the problems are related to your teens’ feelings, thoughts, beliefs or behaviour, give them active time to clear their visions and make them learn new things to avoid new anger-situations.
• You must try to solve your teens’ problems at initial level. Otherwise, no any theory will work, effectively, to solve your teens’ permanent problems.

Tips to calm down your teens, easily:

Don't be anger to calm down your teen

         Don’t try to control your teens when they are angry. You should avoid applying reasoning and deep conversations when you are trying to control your teen’s anger. Always motivate them keeping them cool and cheerful and give them sufficient time to correct and think over the situation that how much they are right or wrong and how they should present themselves,next. You should accept teens' errors, too, in totality and you should never take teens’ anger, personally. You should talk to your teens regularly about their feelings and hidden intentions. Your teens should regularly be taught about self-awareness, self-control and importance of patience and how the adults (like you) become able to control them with the help of these.

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'Democratic Parenting Style' for TEEN

‘Democratic Parenting Style’ for 

TEENS

          In fact, dealing with children is never static. Parenting process is continuously growing and full of changing as children grow and their needs and requirements change at the different levels of their mental and physical development. But, it becomes much harder to deal teen-age children due to their reaching up to the point of adult level action, reaction and behaviour when they are not adults, still.

So, it has ever been a question of mass of parents that which parenting style should be leaded especially for the teen-age children. And, that is none other than ‘Democratic Parenting Style’.

 

Democratic Parenting Style in comparison to the other two most known styles:

The parenting style can be of three types. These are Authoritarian, Permissive and in the middle of these two, that is Democratic.

      As the title shows, Authoritarian Style parenting is a hard and in some extent rigid and order based parenting style. It prefers mostly hard and fast rules, more restrictions, prohibitions and punishments. In an Authoritarian family, the children are often restricted from their choices and interests. Authoritarian parents try to control even the thought and feeling of their children.

       On the other hand the Permissive style of parenting refers freedom more than necessity with less or no restriction and limits. This style is run generally in the family, where the parents have no time for their children. So, the children have less respect here for order, request and commitment.

This style leads indiscipline, lack of manners and less respect for elders and older ones.  Parent’s Impatience and irritation are hidden and sometimes neglected.

Children of permissive families receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are going on the right path or wrongly.

            Thus, there is another way in between these two is Democratic Parenting Style standing on the middle of these two above.

Democratic Style Parenting Circumstances:

•  This style is neither Authoritarian nor permissive. It stands in between these two styles.
• It gives freedom to all, on the basis of saving rights of all.
• All members are responsible for all.
• Age, experience, knowledge and behaviour do matter here.
• All give and find right chance to express and contribute their views and thoughts.
• Here, rejection becomes out of irritation because it takes place only under acceptance.
• Parents respect children’s interests, opinions and views.
•  Every family member can make excuse easily when they commit mistake because they are praised, too, when they add values.
• Parents don’t avoid or neglect their kids because kids are responsible, too not to be neglected.
• Criticism is always positive here and encouraged by all to improve and correct them.
• Mistakes always take place here but without fear and the repetition of it is rare.
• A teen can be seen here to motivate their grand- relatives because ability is respected here.
• Aggression under limit is happily accepted here because the faulty becomes ready to improve him/her.
• This family is full of communication so the chances of misunderstanding or misinterpretation are rare.
• Here punishment is accepted by all because it works for all, accordingly.
• Bickering and shouting are the expressions of joy here, not the signs of aggression.
• Motivation works here due to right intention of all.

            Ultimately, it’s nothing but a democratic style family where no one is dissatisfied, demoralized or ignored; they all do their best for all.

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Eleven most practical principles of TEEN-PARENTING

Eleven most practical PRINCIPLES of Teen-parenting

It's all about you.

 As a parent...

1. Be the active part of your teen’s life: There are a lot of things for a parent to know and communicate their teens keeping them on right track. It is only possible when a parent is up-to-date about their teens’ daily routine, studies and school, peers and friends and their extracurricular activities. It’s not so easy to know all about these, suddenly. So, every parent must be careful and conscious for active communication with their teens to be updated ,properly. 

2. Be the first friend of your teen: When your teens hide their problems or discuss their problems excluding their parents show the situation that the dialogue and communication between them are not going well and the relation is harsh and hard. A parent must remove this situation to be closed and for sharing right guidelines for them. It is only possible when a parent behaves friendly with their teens.

3. Be the first ideal of your teen: In fact, the parents can’t make their children learn what they say because the children learn only what they see. Observing this fact, every parent should try to improve their own act, reaction, behaviour and attitude first to correct and improve their teens. Parents’ effective behaviour and thoughts motivate their teens to be ideal as their parents are.

4. Be the first forgiver of your teen: Every parent must remember this fact that “mischief is a child and a parent is to forgive”. Children may do mistakes even can commit major mistakes due to their little knowledge, experience and impatient phase of life but on the other hand, this is the way only by which they learn handling poor and worst situations of life. So, you must handle this situation flexibly and wisely keeping in your mind that your forgiveness can only save and improve their deeds and doings.

5. Be the first believer of your teen: When a Mom asks her teen-son about his girlfriend and the son replies correctly and, when a teen-daughter requests her father to let her see her boyfriend to say him “happy birth day” and if, both of these conditions keep their parents relaxed and calm, explain a lot. The condition signs here that the teens believe on their parents and the parents are confident regarding their teens’ and know their Qualities and limitations, too. What is working here is only ‘faith’, which binds them, strongly. 

6. Be the first ruler of your teen: If your child is beaten or punished by others and you accept that behaviour right, is shameful. In all conditions, the parents are responsible to correct their kids first so they are responsible; too, to rule over their kids. Here, identifying the proper way to rule over them is also a major responsibility of a parent. You can find out that way observing this review, completely.

7. Be ready to improve and correct yourself, first: If a parent is really interested to improve or change their kids action and behaviour and getting improper reactions from them on their maximum efforts, it is time to correct and improve themselves before their kids. Parents must remember this fact that a man of behaviour can only correct the behaviour of others.                                                                            

Parent's responsibility

8. Be responsible for your teen’s responsibilities: If a teen rejects to bear his/ her responsibility, a parent can’t save himself/herself saying this that it’s kid’s responsibility to accept it. Parents are always responsible to make their kids understand and bear their own responsibility. How should a parent convey and make them easy to do this, depend upon his personal behaviour and attitude.  

9. Be the best guider of your teen rather than a leader: You can’t lead and change directly your teens without arguments because they already wish to go on, independently but, they are needed for a good suggestion-provider, at the same time. As a parent, you should, tactfully, play the role of a guide and good suggestion-provider to correct and keep them on right track.

10. Be right logically always rather than becoming rigid to be right: Teens are more anger than adults. They are mostly intimidating for the parents and the parents may also be intimidating for their teens. Teens are, in fact, the learners for future so they naturally operate the thing or situation with a lot of arguments. They accept the things easily but mostly after a logical argument. Therefore, being right is, logically, necessary to deal a teen and it requires your 100% efforts.

11. Be a good suggestion-giver of your teen rather than being a suggestion-maker: Saying, ‘It is better to do this because…’ is far better than ‘you must…’ or ‘you will have to…’ for your teens. Both the dialogues mean the same but the levels of relaxation are much different. parents’ suggestions are important but must be conveyed tactfully and flexibly specially for teens.

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Recognizing teenage...at first !

Recognizing teenage…At first !

  

  In fact, the role and the responsibility of a parent continuously change according to the changes of the growth of their children. On the other hand, requirement of a child less than one year is different from a child of five-year old or a teenager but a parent has to handle and care his/her all aged children all time, ultimately.

            In the entire section of ‘Teenage-Parenting’, we will discuss a lot about teenage which has become an art and science in new era but this preview is specially reviewed to know all about the characteristics of a teenage, itself.

What does 'Teen-age' mean?

a) The age between 12 and 18: It’s a phase of age between the Late-childhood and young-adulthood. When a person goes over the age of eighteen means he or she is in the age of majority. Thus, the duration starting from late-childhood and reaching the age of puberty is teen-age. Normally, the age between to 18 is considered as adolescence age (teen-age).

b) Age of hormone: Teen age is normally an age of big physical changes and new hormonal secretion. These physical changes bring a lot of other changes in thought, behaviour and attitudes of teens. Teens start to show their interest in sex, over this age.  This is the age of the fastest mental and physical growth of a person in his all life.

             A teenager requires to be dealt as an adult and on the other hand, they are not always ready to be treated as an adult. This age is a phase of balancing of the two major phases of life that is the childhood and adulthood.

c) Age of peers and friends: Feeling of acceptance and deny by peers are always crucial for teens. They are tensed and abnormal when they feel themselves different from their peers. That is why this phase of life is also recognized as the phase of addictions.

d) Age of emotion: teenagers are mostly more emotional than adults. Emotional matters make teens more tensed and abnormal. Their feeling, listening and offering mostly demand acceptance.

e) Age of Imagination: Teens are the most Imaginative. Girls mostly dream for a handsome husband, sweet home or for a loving boyfriend or peers when the boys think over always to prove their bravery, intelligence and knowledge. They also dream to find a beautiful spouse or a loving girlfriend. But, when they face the reality, they become irritate and aggressive.

f) Age of irritation, worries and curiosities: Transformation from the childhood to adulthood brings a lot of irritation and worries for teens. They always look for the new ways. They apply abstract thinking to values, morals, authority-issues, empathy, relationship and justice. They present new philosophies and create theory of theories.

g) Age of arguments and conflicts: Teens are more anger than adults. They are mostly intimidating for the parents and the parents may also be intimidating for their teens. Teens are, in fact, the learners for future so they naturally operate the thing or situation with a lot of arguments. They accept the things easily but mostly after a logical argument.

e) Age of accepting risks: Teens are more energetic, curious and less confused (due to less knowledge and experience) so they take risks, easily. There is no any limit of a risk taken by a teenager. They can be a smoker, drunker, drug-user or a sexual-abuser. Teenagers can be miss-leaded, miss-used or miss-guided easily because the take risks easily.

f) Teens are hard to understand: Most of the parents and even the teachers and other family members, fail to understand what acts and blooms in the heart of a teenager. They are veteran to hide the facts.

g) Age of freedom-feeling: Due to less or absence of major responsibilities, teen-age is a natural freedom-feeling phase of life. And if the teens are tried to restrict, they mostly argue with the parents and defence themselves, angrily.  

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Three most essential arrangements to keep your young children healthy and active...

 Three most essential arrangements to keep

 your young children
 healthy and active

Families of all children especially below the two years of age must know about the baby feeding facts in addition of complimentary foods.

As a parent, you must know here the effective management of baby feeding and it’s supplementary.

Feeding and food- management for your baby (same applied for young children):

1. Exclusive breastfeeding during the first six months: A baby must be given only breast milk till the age of six months, exclusively.

2. Complimentary feeding: When a baby completes its six months, you should add some complementary feeding remembering these five things:

1. Feeding consistency: At the initial level, when you start giving food supplements, the food contents should be soft and mashed. But later, give anything what an adult eat normally (but with less spices). Don’t dilute food. Keep it thick and fresh (give pulse, not separated curry-water of pulse).
2. Quantity of food: Gradually increase the amount of such food. Till at about one year, the child gets almost half as much nutrition as the mother.
3. Frequency: The amount of given complementary food should be equal to about half what an adult needs in terms of nutrients. Since the child’s stomach is small, this amount has to be distributed in to four six feeds, per day.
4. Density: The food has to be energy dense, low in volume but high in energy, therefore, add some edible oil or fats to the food. Family could add a spoon of it to every roti (chapatti)/meal. Whatever edible oil is available in the house is sufficient.
5. Variety:  It is very good to add Protective foods as green leafy vegetables and fruits in daily food preparations. The rule is that the greener it is or the redder it is, the more its protective qualities ( above one year child can also be given meat, eggs, fish etc. for better health but you should start with a limited ratio then go on according to choice).

 For the better health and nursing of children up to five years, you must aware about these food arrangements.

feeding during illness

3. Feeding your baby (and children) during illness: most of the families understand that a child should be given less meal during illness or it’s a natural way to recover from illness. But, especially for the children, it’s totally a wrong thinking.

           In fact, the children during illness should be given food normally as they demand or need. And, catching up their good growth after illness, they you should provide them extra diets.

       At the end of this review, I would say only this that ‘Have some valuable time for your kids. It gives you a good time to feel your children, right or wrong whatever is going on’.

Beside these, as a good parent, you must remember these feeding and food management to keep your baby and even young children healthy and energetic.

• Start complimentary feeding and food at six months, necessarily; but not before.
• Don’t dilute food, unnecessarily.
• Feed the baby at least up to one year and when you have started already the complementary after six months. (Six-month completed baby should be feed five/ six times/day.
• dAdd some fats and oil in baby food as, milk, eggs, meat and fish according to their need and choice.

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